“Will you go with me?” my friend asked quietly.
This was no simple invitation. She wasn’t asking me to go shopping or to some event.
No, she was asking me to go with her to an abortion clinic.
I regarded her with gentle sympathy, even while my heart was torn. I understood her circumstances and what drove her to desire an abortion. But I knew sugar coating my response wasn’t going to help her either. The best I had to offer her was the truth.
“When I was in university I did a lot of research on abortion for a psychology paper I was taking,” I began slowly. “I found out some huge stuff. This isn’t just “tissue” you’re carrying – it is an actual child. The DNA is formed at conception that will determine who this child will grow up to be – what it will look like, what its personality will be like.
What’s more, if you do choose abortion, studies show a huge impact on the mother for the rest of her life. Many women experience depression and suicidal thoughts after an abortion. There is also research out there that links abortion to breast cancer, because when you abort a child your body (and breast cells) are in a state of transition as the pregnancy develops. Aborting that process, leaves those cells in a state of transition and vulnerable to growing cancerous. I would hate to see any of that happen to you.”
I could see my friend was unsure.
“I would love to support you in this. But I can’t go with you to the abortion clinic. It’s killing your child, and I’m so sorry, I can’t be a part of that. I would hate to see you suffer the effects of abortion that so many women do. I would hate to see you scarred by that. It’s not just your baby I’m concerned about; I’m genuinely concerned about you. I don’t want to see you years from now wondering what this baby would have been like. Regretting the choice you made. Is there any other way I can help? Would you consider adoption, or even keeping the child? I know this is your choice. And I want you to know that I will still love you whatever you choose, but I can not be a part of killing your child.”
We continued our discussion, but there was no easy resolution. I left the choice in my friend’s hands and prayed repeatedly for the massive choice she was facing.
My friend chose the abortion. I was so saddened to see the effects it had on her. This incredibly beautiful, highly achieving woman, was faced with depression and suicidal thoughts, similar to what I had read about. She had strength like I had rarely seen in anyone to face some of the worst situations life could throw at you, yet it seemed this choice impacted her in ways other situations had not.
According to http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/the-after-effects-of-abortion, research shows that:
Women who have undergone post-abortion counseling report over 100 major reactions to abortion. Among the most frequently reported are: depression, loss of self-esteem, self-destructive behavior, sleep disorders, memory loss, sexual dysfunction, chronic problems with relationships, dramatic personality changes, anxiety attacks, guilt and remorse, difficulty grieving, increased tendency toward violence, chronic crying, difficulty concentrating, flashbacks, loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities and people, and difficulty bonding with later children. [4] [30]
Among the most worrisome of these reactions is the increase of self-destructive behavior among aborted women. In a survey of over 100 women who had suffered from post-abortion trauma, fully 80 percent expressed feelings of “self-hatred.” In the same study, 49 percent reported drug abuse and 39 percent began to use or increased their use of alcohol. Approximately 14 percent described themselves as having become “addicted” or “alcoholic” after their abortions. In addition, 60 percent reported suicidal ideation, with 28 percent actually attempting suicide, of which half attempted suicide two or more times. [30]
More information can be found here – http://afterabortion.org/2011/abortion-risks-a-list-of-major-psychological-complications-related-to-abortion/
No decision is worth that amount of consequence and pain.
Some people think abortion is okay in God’s sight. I don’t see how it can be. In the book of Jeremiah, God talks about how people were sacrificing their babies in blazing fire to the idol Molech. “They have built pagan shrines to Baal in the valley of Ben-Hinnom, and there they sacrifice their sons and daughters to Molech. I have never commanded such a horrible deed; it never even crossed my mind to command such a thing. What an incredible evil, causing Judah to sin so greatly!” Jeremiah 32:35
Even if people don’t always understand the value of children, God most certainly does. God knows the plans for each and every child conceived. Psalm 139:16 says “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”
Indeed God illustrates this point dramatically in Jeremiah 1:5; “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”
God planned Jeremiah and the purpose of his life – while he was still in the womb. In the light of these verses, can we honestly claim that a child growing inside a womb is just “tissue”? What plans did God have for the children that are aborted globally every year?
Here is a short article on one abortion survivor. http://mychristiandaily.com.au/dr/abortion-survivor-spreads-pro-life-message She is not the only survivor of abortion who has gone on to speak of the devastating consequences of a failed abortion.
I understand there are horrific circumstances such as rape that can lead to an unwanted pregnancy. Or abusive husbands or partners that absolutely refuse to allow the birth of a child. As horrendous as those situations are, my personal concern is trying to resolve one “problem” with abortion, is merely presenting a woman with more issues than anyone could reasonably cope with. (Please note – if you are in an abusive relationship, please contact the Police or a woman’s refuge shelter.)
Two articles I’ve read have had a big impact on me. The article at http://www.nationalreview.com/article/430152/abortion-roe-v-wade-unborn-children-women-feminism-march-life talks about witnessing an abortion. What staggered the person watching, however, was seeing the child’s struggle for life. This abortion involved an injection of fluid to kill the child and then expel the “tissue”. As the needle went in and started to depress the chemical, the child (from within the womb) took hold of the needle and it started moving around as the child tried to escape from it and get rid of it. Of course, it wasn’t able to.
I can’t imagine anything more heart-breaking.
Another one, that now has surrounding controversy, is the story of Samuel Armas.
“On Aug. 19, 1999, photographer Michael Clancy shot the “Fetal Hand Grasp” — his picture of a 21-week-old fetus grasping a doctor’s finger during innovative surgery to correct spina bifida. Nearly four months later, on Dec. 2, Samuel Armas was “born famous.”
…”I could see the uterus shake violently and then this little fist came out of the surgical opening,” Clancy recalls. “It came out under its own power. When Dr. Bruner lifted the little hand, I fired my camera and the tighter Samuel squeezed, the harder Dr. Bruner shook his hand.”
Clancy, who was a freelancer for USA Today when he photographed Samuel’s fully-formed hand, now works as a motivational speaker at pro-life events. Prior to the picture, Clancy said, he was pro-choice.”
Dr. Bruner, however, now denies that Samuel reached out while in utero. You can read more of the story here: http://www.foxnews.com/story/2009/05/06/ten-years-later-boy-hand-hope-continues-to-spark-debate.html
If you’ve already had an abortion
Please, know that there is grace for anything you have ever done. The Bible says in Romans 3:23 that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”. In simple terms, sin means to do something wrong. None of us (myself included) has lived a perfect life. I haven’t ever had an abortion, but that doesn’t excuse me from other kinds of wrong-doing. None of us can ever match God’s perfection. He knows we can’t, and He doesn’t expect that of us.
So God did something amazing, and incredibly costly to Himself. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to earth to die on our behalf. Only God’s Son, who IS and can only ever be perfect, could make up for our lack. As He died a gruesome death on a Roman cross, Jesus carried all of the things any person has, or ever will do, wrong. In that way He wiped away everything we have done. It was like a divine swap. Jesus carried our sins, and we get to carry His perfection. Because of this exchange, you (and I) have been forgiven for everything we’ve done. We only have to acknowledge we haven’t lived a perfect life and ask to receive God’s forgiveness. It’s as simple as that. 1 John 1:9 declares that “if we confess our sins (wrong-doing) to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”
Not only that, but God promises that “I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist.” Isaiah 44:22. When we ask for His forgiveness, God sweeps away whatever we have done and remembers it no more. Hebrews 8:12 says that “I will be merciful toward their iniquities (things they’ve done wrong), and I will remember their sins no more.”
Abortion is another form of doing something wrong, but it carries a hefty price. Abortion marks you. But God’s plan is not for you to live in shame. If you will cry out to Him, He promises to bring healing to your heart and to lift off the weight of your experience. He will carry your sins for you and help you through this.
Not every woman that undergoes abortion is reported to feel remorse or have complications. Children in the womb do not have the chance to speak for themselves. But for women carrying a child, it’s a different story. You have a choice. I have presented you with some information here regarding abortion. Please. Do your own research. Find out the risks involved. Find out the beauty of the child you are carrying.
Before you make the choice for an abortion, think on it carefully. Think on all these components. Decide whether you will ever regret, or ever wonder about the child you will now never meet on this earth. Are you willing to potentially undergo infertility, should you want children in future? It’s not a guarantee that you will. But what about depression or suicidal thoughts? What about future miscarriages?
Are you willing to take the gamble?
Navigating Life's Curveballs 