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The Day I Heard You

by Karen Loo, posted in Abortion, Downs Syndrome, Poems, Pregnancy

It’s confirmed

Downs Syndrome

Only 14 weeks pregnant

And my whole future just changed


Sitting in shock

And disbelief

Staring at a world that looks the same

But the colour palette suddenly changed


How am I to do this?

I’m not the right mother for Downs Syndrome

Couldn’t I just have a “normal” child?

The one I thought I was to be pregnant with?


No answers

No clue

No idea of how I am to do this


Then all at once – you moved

With a rhythmic tapping

From deep inside

You made your presence known


Like tiny little hiccups

Resounding like a heart beat

That even my husband could feel

With his hand pressed against my side


And suddenly, I heard you

From deep within my soul

I knew what you were trying to say


“Mum – I am here.

Downs Syndrome, they say.

Dodgy heart, they say.

But Mum – I’ve got this.


I’m a fighter, Mum.

I can do this.

Let me have my chance.

I want to LIVE.”


Immediately my heart grew firm

And resolve grew, along with you

I would give you your chance

To fight for the life

They said you may not have

To overcome the obstacles that would be in your way

If this is what you want

Then I will fight alongside you

I will do all I can

To look after you and protect you


I will stand against those who think I should abort you

Because child,

This is YOUR life

And your heart is already beating


And so I will journey with you

No matter what lies ahead

Though I pray you are miraculously healed

Of your Downs Syndrome and “dodgy heart”

I will walk the path with you

One day at a time

For your heart

Beats with mine


This poem speaks to our pre-natal NIPT DNA diagnosis of Downs Syndrome at 14 weeks. I sat on our swing chair and just internally froze, wondering how to accept, brace and recalibrate to this curveball that paired with a totally different life than I expected. The photo was taken of Cayden (which means fighter) later in the pregnancy. We named him fighter partly because of this moment – feeling him move and knowing he wanted to fight and beat the odds against him.

You were made to be

by Karen Loo, posted in Abortion, Complex medical needs, Downs Syndrome, Poems, Pregnancy

“Your baby should not be,”

He said to me.

“Any abnormality

I do not want to see.”


I disagreed.

While I didn’t know the outcome for my son

Or what struggles he may face

One thing I knew

Was this little boy –

Had infinite value


My own capacity?

My own strength and ability?

Absolutely a question mark

And not something I could pre-weigh


But this little child?

I would do what it would take

No matter how infinitely hard it was to grasp

How to raise a child with a potential disability


But one thing I knew

Is that to me –

Little boy,

You have infinite value.

And you were DEFINITELY

Made to be.
.


.
This poem was written regarding the pressure from an obstetrician to abort if any chromosomal abnormalities were found in a pre-natal diagnostic test. He believed it was black and white – if there were any abnormalities in your baby, you abort. My husband and I did not agree with his view.

100m Dash

by Karen Loo, posted in Downs Syndrome, Poems, Pregnancy

Sweat gleaming, glistening

Panting

Bending over

Struggling for breath

.

The announcer

The 100m dash is over

But a new race is about to begin

Startled, I hear my voice over the loud speaker

.

The announcer

The 100m dash is over

But a new race is about to begin

Startled, I hear my voice over the loud speaker

.

“Take your positions!”

No choice

But to walk my tired body to the new start line

“Excuse me. What race is this one?” I ask

.

“It’s a marathon, over varied terrain.

You won’t know what’s ahead of you until you get there.

Are you ready?”

Hell no!!!!!

.

Too late.

My name has been called.

I must run this race

Prepared, or not

.

The bell clangs

I start to run

Battling fears and thoughts in my head

How can I run a marathon, when I’ve just finished a sprint?

.

Who said I was good enough for this?

Who thought I had capacity for this?

Why have I been chosen

To run this race?

.

There must be some mistake

I don’t have the skill level for this

Others around me

Pushing ahead and pushing through

.

“You can do it!” They encourage

“We’ve been there! You can do this race!”

Who to believe?

Fear and anxiety jostle each other

.

But it doesn’t matter how I feel

I have a race to run.


This poem describes how I felt when I heard my baby in my second pregnancy had Downs Syndrome. I had struggled enough as a parent of my “normal” first child – I had no idea how to manage being the parent of a child with disabilities. It felt like I had struggled to run a normal 100m race, and now I had a marathon in front of me.

Who for the JOY set before Him…

by Karen Loo, posted in Abortion, Pregnancy

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I had great expectations for pregnancy. Who doesn’t, right? Sure, I knew there would likely be morning sickness and nausea. Some aches and pains. A challenging labour process.

But no way could I ever have been prepared for just HOW HARD pregnancy would be. How many times I would be in tears, just wishing it could all be over. That feeling began at 5 ½ weeks. (There was a long way to go!)

I didn’t realise that pregnancy would take me to a number of hospitals in our city, seeking out different specialists for a variety of unusual pregnancy complications – potentially placenta previa; extensive, unrelenting stomach and bowel pain; a pregnancy cyst that just kept growing that required major abdominal surgery; hyperemesis gravardium.

I started learning technical terms for things I’d never heard of. And I wondered where in heck God was in the midst of all of this.

As I sank to the floor one day by the toilet bowl and cried, feeling like my guts had been twisted inside out and pulled back up through my throat, I felt His whisper.

“Come. Come and see.”

God WAS still with me. I felt Him direct me into our bedroom, where I could sit on our bed and look at the empty space that one day soon will become our baby’s bed. In my mind I could picture this child lying there. Picking him up and cradling him. Singing to him. Watching him sleep.

And I heard another whisper, one I had come to recognise throughout this pregnancy.

“Who for the JOY set before Him…”

I recognised the partial Bible verse. “And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2

I felt God was telling me – trying to show me even – that while this season might be about enduring pain and struggle, it would be followed by a season of joy. If only I could hang in there, it would get better. When I held our child in my arms, it would be worth it.

It was a promise but it was still hard to accept. People talk about that moment when you first hold your child and how all the pain of giving birth etc melts into forgotten oblivion. But how can you rely on that promise when you haven’t ever experienced that situation?

The answer, though hard, was mind-blowingly simple. You had to have faith.

I’ll be really honest. Not long ago I posted about abortion and the effects of it not only on the child, but the mother also. I am adamantly opposed to abortion.

However, I have to confess, when this journey of continual pregnancy struggles eked out hour by hour and I was wracked with pain from more than one source, the thought did cross my mind. The temptation to end it all and be done with all this pain and nausea lurked in the background.

But I also know there is a spiritual battle taking place. I know God has plans for this child. As He does for every child conceived. I could never take my baby’s life. I know that for every plan God has for good, Satan will do all he can to oppose it. The temptation to end my baby’s life (with the associated lie that it would end all my physical suffering in pregnancy – leaving out the potential for emotional suffering) did not come from God. It came from the devil.

I was horrified such a thought would even cross my mind. I was comforted to discover that a number of women who suffer from hyperemesis gravardium consider abortion. They become so desperate to end the effects and live a normal life again. I also understood though that if I made that choice I would always wonder about my child and regret not having the courage and stamina to just make it that little bit longer.

What I had to realise afresh was that “for the JOY set before Him – He endured the cross”. That the joy is worth the pain. If I could just make it through this season, I would hold a beautiful baby in my arms. I would have to trust in this process and in God that it would all work out for the best.

Now as I recover from surgery and the nausea slowly abates, and the nine medications through this pregnancy slowly diminish to just two, I’m also discovering the joy.

Where?

In LIFE. As I feel this baby kick. As I feel him move and wriggle and poke my stomach. Those moments are infinitely precious time captures that point me to a future of JOY.

It’s brought to mind the phrase that the things you value most are often the hardest to get.

A friend told me about a widower she heard speak. His story is… beyond words. In years prior, his wife was pregnant. However, due to some medical condition she was told she had a choice. Abort the baby, or die in the process of giving birth.

Can you imagine such a horrendous choice?

This couple had courage I can not begin to imagine. They made the decision, like Jesus, to lay down her life for the sake of another – their child’s.

They went through with the pregnancy.

And she did die. The child, however, lived. The husband now raises his child alone.

I feel there almost needs to be a reverent hush after hearing a story like that.

I am deeply blessed with the certainty that this is just a season. Our baby is growing beautifully and seems perfectly healthy. Eventually my husband and I will hold this baby and the process will feel fully worthwhile.

I need to note that I am incredibly thankful we have not struggled with infertility. I understand this post could feel incredibly insensitive to those that have. I know you would probably do all this and more just for that precious gift. Please know that even while this has been a tough journey, I am so thankful for the gift of this child. I can’t wait to meet him and see who God has given us! I am so very sorry if your journey has not yet brought you to this outcome.

God is gracious to each of us even in circumstances that can involve pain and sacrifice. Like Jesus, like the woman who laid down her life for her child; some sacrifices cost everything we have to give.

Again, I am so blessed that my journey hasn’t been that extreme. But as my husband and I head soon into my third trimester, I am so thankful for a God who sees the struggle and doesn’t diminish it. Who walks with me through the valley. Yet who continually tells me to lift my gaze – to Him, the ultimate Giver of joy and LIFE.

“And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2

 Are you at a stage in your journey that feels tough? How has God encouraged you? Do you feel His presence walking with you, reminding you there are better days ahead? Know that His plans for you are good! He will use all your circumstances for good and restore JOY to you. That’s His promise to you!

 

 

 

Marriage: A Unique Partnership

by Karen Loo, posted in Marriage

wedding_rings

I’ll admit it. I was three years old when I proposed to a fellow young man.

Alas, my heart was broken. He was not yet ready for marriage at that tender age. (Was I?!)

Later on I tried dating. The boys at school who didn’t believe in God were probably not the best candidates.

When I was sixteen, I heard about the idea that you could just wait and pray for the right person. So began nearly a decade of just that; waitingggggggg and prayinggggggg. (You can imagine I wasn’t very patient).

I was 27 when I met my incredible husband. I learnt a lot through the process of getting to know him and later marrying him.

Firstly, relationships take risk. After so long trying to wrap my head around being a “contented single”, I had used that as an excuse to shut down my heart. I was bitter. I was angry at God that it had taken so long for Him to provide my deepest heart’s desire. It’s hard to receive a gift, while being angry at the Giver. My husband was excellent at chipping away my defenses. He knew I had to be really honest about any fears lurking underneath (inadequacy? Whether I was “lovable” enough?) to be able to work through any issues that cropped up. With God’s grace and my husband’s help, we were able to build a platform where we could be really honest about where we were coming from. Then it was just finding ways to work through those revelations. Risking honesty around the fears and baggage we bring is one of the best ways you can honour each other. You need to know who you both really are before committing to a life-time marriage.

I realised that sometimes relationships don’t look like how you imagined. I thought I would marry someone with cross-cultural experience who wanted to do missions around the world. The man God gave me had been brought up cross-culturally. He came from another country, even. He wanted to travel as well, but for a different reason and purpose to me. In the early stages of our relationship, this caused me to question God. Aren’t we meant to have mirror-image goals and dreams for our lives? My conclusion was that God is much bigger than we are. I continually sought God’s advice over our relationship. When God kept reassuring me that my husband was a great man to marry, even though I didn’t have every question answered, I chose to believe that and trust in this relationship God had given.

Another thing I’ve learnt is around honouring each other’s needs. No matter what, the person you marry – will be different to you! They’ll have different needs, goals and desires. Our job is to discover what those are, and see how we can support them. This needs to work both ways. I think we need to plan to have conversations around how we can meet each other’s needs. If we don’t verbally communicate our needs and desires, how can we expect our partners to instinctively know them? Once you have both communicated your needs (and these may change in different life seasons) it becomes a dance for how you will best use your limited time and resources to meet as many of each other’s needs as possible. But I can testify, that knowing your partner has your best interests at heart (and vice versa) through seeking to meet your most important needs, will build an incredible strength to your marriage.

For people that are newly married, engaged or single – I think you have an incredible opportunity. Often the habits we build at the start of marriage will stay with us throughout our marriages. Why not build the absolute best marriage we can – from the start? Don’t rely on romantic feelings to see you through. If you start your marriage intentionally seeking to bless the other person and build them up, you will see amazing rewards. That act in itself will become a positive habit throughout your marriage. It won’t feel unnatural to suddenly try to praise the other person when in the past you’ve relied on feelings (or the actions of your partner) to spark a positive outburst. Your partner should know they are the apple of your eye. Be deliberate. Look for things you can encourage and praise them in. Thank them for their hard work – whatever they do. Build them up in front of others. Show obvious pride in your partner. It will mean the world to them.

Provide a safe place. The safer we feel with our partners, the more vulnerable we are free to be. Vulnerability, handled well, is a cornerstone of trust and intimacy. Knowing your partner’s innermost thoughts and history gives you an understanding of why they react the way they do. Knowing that if they have a bad day, they can come home and receive comfort (not judgement, disinterest or harshness) creates a safe team environment. You get to be a unique team. It’s the two of you, facing life’s challenges together. Pulling through challenges together lessens the likelihood of you both pulling apart.

My husband and I haven’t been married long. But I have great hope for our marriage. I have seen demonstrated every day the intentional attitude we both have toward building the best marriage we can.

In every situation or interaction, we get given a figurative brick. We can either use that brick positively to build a foundation of love, care and honesty, or we can use that brick negatively to hurt and clobber each other. I know which way I would rather choose. Therefore I will continue to do my best every day to honour my husband by building him up verbally, being honest in our relationship, and providing a safe place that both of us can look forward to sharing.

How will you build the best relationship or marriage you can?

He won’t kick you when you’re down

by Karen Loo, posted in Faith, Tough times

mother-and-son-1437502

As I shared my story, tears trickled down my cheeks. It was painful to share this memory with my mentor. But when I looked at her for her reaction, I was amazed. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks as well as she listened to me.

Something gently, yet deeply, touched my heart. When do people have the capacity to not only listen to your pain, but cry with you?

This woman was in her seventies. She was a widow, with grown children and grandchildren. She was also an immigrant. She moved her with her husband from England in her twenties. New Zealand was her home now, but you could never mistake her English heritage. As tears crept their way gently down her face, I was moved.

There was nothing we could do to change the situation I described. To be honest, I don’t even remember what it was. But I have never forgotten the power of having a friend cry with me. It has forged a depth of relationship and mutual empathy that is hard to describe. The Bible says to “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15 NLT) Often it’s easier to find someone who will celebrate with you in the good times than someone who will stand with you when times get tough.

Recently I have been reflecting on the power of empathy. Empathy doesn’t just sympathise with another’s pain or experiences; the person listening feels like they are experiencing the same emotions. According to the Oxford Dictionary, empathy means “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another”. What would our world look like if more of us had empathy for the journeys of those around us?

There are so many areas of this world that is in pain. I think of Syrian refugees, fleeing their country in desperation, hoping for a chance to live and provide for their families elsewhere. If we watched people we loved dying around us as a result of a civil war, wouldn’t we do all we could to protect those we love? Empathy means getting to the same level as someone else and relating to their journey. It means choosing to listen to them. Also choosing not to judge them. Instead, honouring them as fellow human beings who have faced struggles and choices, like all of us.

Recently my husband showed me an incredible amount of empathy. I had been struggling with a lot of stomach pain for weeks. One night the pain was so bad it felt like being stabbed in my stomach. I curled up on the floor to try relieve the pain and I sobbed. Soon I realised my husband had joined me on the rug on our floor. He lay next to me and held me and stroked my hair as I alternately cried and stiffened at times with the pain.

It’s not an experience I ever want to repeat. I hate pain – physical or emotional. I do all I can to avoid pain! Yet the effect of having my husband join me in on the floor amongst my pain felt like incredible love and empathy. I feel almost indebted – in a good way – with just how much love my husband has shown me recently as I haven’t felt well.

Thankfully the pain eased and eventually I felt perfectly fine again. Go figure. But those moments I’ve experienced empathy become like precious flagstones I never want to forget.

In the Bible in John 15:13 (NLT) it says “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Sometimes I think in a Western context that verse can be hard to grasp. We’re not faced with daily persecution where to love Jesus means we could be killed that day. But I feel my husband gave me a glimpse of that. He had his own things he wanted to achieve with his evening. Instead, he put aside his own agenda and plans, and set himself to understanding what I was going through.

I am so thankful we have a Saviour in Jesus Christ whose very nature is defined by love. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NLT) declares “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” God empathises with us.

Some people don’t like to show weakness. They feel it makes them appear vulnerable. What I love about God is that He doesn’t judge us for our weakness. (Doing something wrong is different; we do need to pray and ask God’s forgiveness – and sometimes the people we’ve wronged too – to make the situation right, but I’m talking about weakness in the sense when we feel down or show vulnerability with where our hurts are).

If you are going through a painful situation right now, know that God “heals the broken-hearted and bandages their wounds” – Psalm 147:3. You don’t have to pretend with God. You can tell Him how you really feel. Ask Him for His help. He is not going to judge you for going through a season of pain, in whatever form that looks. Even if the pain is the result of your own poor choices. He will always hold you close and comfort you, even as He directs you to a better path in future.

I often lean on the verse from Isaiah 40:28 (NLT) “…No one can measure the depths of his understanding.” People can be rude and unkind. All of us have the capacity to hurt each other. But I love knowing that when I feel unfairly criticised or hurt I can come to the God of all comfort, and the God whose understanding no one can fathom. I know God understands me. He knows my heart and my very thoughts (Psalm 139). Even if people misunderstand a situation and cause us hurt, God knows where each of us is coming from and why both parties may have reacted the way they did.

If you let Him, God would love to come into your situation and bring healing. Only He knows what you need. Why don’t you invite Him into your situation and see what He will do?

A child no more

by Karen Loo, posted in Abortion, God's forgiveness

“Will you go with me?” my friend asked quietly.

This was no simple invitation. She wasn’t asking me to go shopping or to some event.
No, she was asking me to go with her to an abortion clinic.

I regarded her with gentle sympathy, even while my heart was torn. I understood her circumstances and what drove her to desire an abortion. But I knew sugar coating my response wasn’t going to help her either. The best I had to offer her was the truth.

“When I was in university I did a lot of research on abortion for a psychology paper I was taking,” I began slowly. “I found out some huge stuff. This isn’t just “tissue” you’re carrying – it is an actual child. The DNA is formed at conception that will determine who this child will grow up to be – what it will look like, what its personality will be like.

What’s more, if you do choose abortion, studies show a huge impact on the mother for the rest of her life. Many women experience depression and suicidal thoughts after an abortion. There is also research out there that links abortion to breast cancer, because when you abort a child your body (and breast cells) are in a state of transition as the pregnancy develops. Aborting that process, leaves those cells in a state of transition and vulnerable to growing cancerous. I would hate to see any of that happen to you.”

I could see my friend was unsure.

“I would love to support you in this. But I can’t go with you to the abortion clinic. It’s killing your child, and I’m so sorry, I can’t be a part of that. I would hate to see you suffer the effects of abortion that so many women do. I would hate to see you scarred by that. It’s not just your baby I’m concerned about; I’m genuinely concerned about you. I don’t want to see you years from now wondering what this baby would have been like. Regretting the choice you made. Is there any other way I can help? Would you consider adoption, or even keeping the child? I know this is your choice. And I want you to know that I will still love you whatever you choose, but I can not be a part of killing your child.”

We continued our discussion, but there was no easy resolution. I left the choice in my friend’s hands and prayed repeatedly for the massive choice she was facing.

My friend chose the abortion. I was so saddened to see the effects it had on her. This incredibly beautiful, highly achieving woman, was faced with depression and suicidal thoughts, similar to what I had read about. She had strength like I had rarely seen in anyone to face some of the worst situations life could throw at you, yet it seemed this choice impacted her in ways other situations had not.

According to http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/the-after-effects-of-abortion, research shows that:

Women who have undergone post-abortion counseling report over 100 major reactions to abortion. Among the most frequently reported are: depression, loss of self-esteem, self-destructive behavior, sleep disorders, memory loss, sexual dysfunction, chronic problems with relationships, dramatic personality changes, anxiety attacks, guilt and remorse, difficulty grieving, increased tendency toward violence, chronic crying, difficulty concentrating, flashbacks, loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities and people, and difficulty bonding with later children. [4] [30]

Among the most worrisome of these reactions is the increase of self-destructive behavior among aborted women. In a survey of over 100 women who had suffered from post-abortion trauma, fully 80 percent expressed feelings of “self-hatred.” In the same study, 49 percent reported drug abuse and 39 percent began to use or increased their use of alcohol. Approximately 14 percent described themselves as having become “addicted” or “alcoholic” after their abortions. In addition, 60 percent reported suicidal ideation, with 28 percent actually attempting suicide, of which half attempted suicide two or more times. [30]

More information can be found here – http://afterabortion.org/2011/abortion-risks-a-list-of-major-psychological-complications-related-to-abortion/

No decision is worth that amount of consequence and pain.

Some people think abortion is okay in God’s sight. I don’t see how it can be. In the book of Jeremiah, God talks about how people were sacrificing their babies in blazing fire to the idol Molech. “They have built pagan shrines to Baal in the valley of Ben-Hinnom, and there they sacrifice their sons and daughters to Molech. I have never commanded such a horrible deed; it never even crossed my mind to command such a thing. What an incredible evil, causing Judah to sin so greatly!” Jeremiah 32:35

Even if people don’t always understand the value of children, God most certainly does. God knows the plans for each and every child conceived. Psalm 139:16 says “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

Indeed God illustrates this point dramatically in Jeremiah 1:5; “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

God planned Jeremiah and the purpose of his life – while he was still in the womb. In the light of these verses, can we honestly claim that a child growing inside a womb is just “tissue”? What plans did God have for the children that are aborted globally every year?

Here is a short article on one abortion survivor. http://mychristiandaily.com.au/dr/abortion-survivor-spreads-pro-life-message She is not the only survivor of abortion who has gone on to speak of the devastating consequences of a failed abortion.

I understand there are horrific circumstances such as rape that can lead to an unwanted pregnancy. Or abusive husbands or partners that absolutely refuse to allow the birth of a child. As horrendous as those situations are, my personal concern is trying to resolve one “problem” with abortion, is merely presenting a woman with more issues than anyone could reasonably cope with. (Please note – if you are in an abusive relationship, please contact the Police or a woman’s refuge shelter.)

Two articles I’ve read have had a big impact on me. The article at http://www.nationalreview.com/article/430152/abortion-roe-v-wade-unborn-children-women-feminism-march-life talks about witnessing an abortion. What staggered the person watching, however, was seeing the child’s struggle for life. This abortion involved an injection of fluid to kill the child and then expel the “tissue”. As the needle went in and started to depress the chemical, the child (from within the womb) took hold of the needle and it started moving around as the child tried to escape from it and get rid of it. Of course, it wasn’t able to.

I can’t imagine anything more heart-breaking.

Another one, that now has surrounding controversy, is the story of Samuel Armas.

“On Aug. 19, 1999, photographer Michael Clancy shot the “Fetal Hand Grasp” — his picture of a 21-week-old fetus grasping a doctor’s finger during innovative surgery to correct spina bifida. Nearly four months later, on Dec. 2, Samuel Armas was “born famous.”

…”I could see the uterus shake violently and then this little fist came out of the surgical opening,” Clancy recalls. “It came out under its own power. When Dr. Bruner lifted the little hand, I fired my camera and the tighter Samuel squeezed, the harder Dr. Bruner shook his hand.”

Clancy, who was a freelancer for USA Today when he photographed Samuel’s fully-formed hand, now works as a motivational speaker at pro-life events. Prior to the picture, Clancy said, he was pro-choice.”

Dr. Bruner, however, now denies that Samuel reached out while in utero. You can read more of the story here: http://www.foxnews.com/story/2009/05/06/ten-years-later-boy-hand-hope-continues-to-spark-debate.html

If you’ve already had an abortion

Please, know that there is grace for anything you have ever done. The Bible says in Romans 3:23 that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”. In simple terms, sin means to do something wrong. None of us (myself included) has lived a perfect life. I haven’t ever had an abortion, but that doesn’t excuse me from other kinds of wrong-doing. None of us can ever match God’s perfection. He knows we can’t, and He doesn’t expect that of us.

So God did something amazing, and incredibly costly to Himself. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to earth to die on our behalf. Only God’s Son, who IS and can only ever be perfect, could make up for our lack. As He died a gruesome death on a Roman cross, Jesus carried all of the things any person has, or ever will do, wrong. In that way He wiped away everything we have done. It was like a divine swap. Jesus carried our sins, and we get to carry His perfection. Because of this exchange, you (and I) have been forgiven for everything we’ve done. We only have to acknowledge we haven’t lived a perfect life and ask to receive God’s forgiveness. It’s as simple as that. 1 John 1:9 declares that “if we confess our sins (wrong-doing) to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”

Not only that, but God promises that “I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist.” Isaiah 44:22. When we ask for His forgiveness, God sweeps away whatever we have done and remembers it no more. Hebrews 8:12 says that “I will be merciful toward their iniquities (things they’ve done wrong), and I will remember their sins no more.”

Abortion is another form of doing something wrong, but it carries a hefty price. Abortion marks you. But God’s plan is not for you to live in shame. If you will cry out to Him, He promises to bring healing to your heart and to lift off the weight of your experience. He will carry your sins for you and help you through this.

Not every woman that undergoes abortion is reported to feel remorse or have complications. Children in the womb do not have the chance to speak for themselves. But for women carrying a child, it’s a different story. You have a choice. I have presented you with some information here regarding abortion. Please. Do your own research. Find out the risks involved. Find out the beauty of the child you are carrying.

Before you make the choice for an abortion, think on it carefully. Think on all these components. Decide whether you will ever regret, or ever wonder about the child you will now never meet on this earth. Are you willing to potentially undergo infertility, should you want children in future? It’s not a guarantee that you will. But what about depression or suicidal thoughts? What about future miscarriages?

Are you willing to take the gamble?