If You Follow

“Your pregnant baby boy has Down Syndrome,”
The obstetrician said
Down Syndrome?
My heart sank.

A world full of brilliant colours
Turned grim gray
A future I was no longer sure I wanted
Captured my breath and dragged down my heart

Down Syndrome?
A world of disability and misunderstanding?
Who will my son be?
What’s more – who does that make me?

Will the other mums see the real me?
Or will I be judged
Based on my son’s disability?

I didn’t want a life of pain and struggle
All I’d wanted was a little baby girl
Cosy in pink and eager to snuggle

God I can understand – sort of –
That you’ve given us a second boy
But God –
Why oh why
Did You not hear my inward cry?

Age 35 is when you’re meant to run the risk
Of medical issues and things you’d rather miss
I’d still some years to go
Why did you allow this sorrow?

My heart breaks, oh God
This isn’t what I wanted
I just wanted a healthy, normal child

God why oh why
Did You not hear my cry?

“You will see,”
He said to me.
“A world you would not know
If you did not follow

It’s a world full of bright greens
Flush with things you’ve never seen
A world full of new starts
In journeys and matters of the heart

It’s not what you thought you’d know
But then this is only discovered
If you follow

A world few people see
That has it’s roots in Me
It’s not a world many know
But stay with Me and I will show

That this journey has many things to learn
If you will only choose to follow.”