It’s confirmed
Downs Syndrome
Only 14 weeks pregnant
And my whole future just changed
Sitting in shock
And disbelief
Staring at a world that looks the same
But the colour palette suddenly changed
How am I to do this?
I’m not the right mother for Downs Syndrome
Couldn’t I just have a “normal” child?
The one I thought I was to be pregnant with?
No answers
No clue
No idea of how I am to do this
Then all at once – you moved
With a rhythmic tapping
From deep inside
You made your presence known
Like tiny little hiccups
Resounding like a heart beat
That even my husband could feel
With his hand pressed against my side
And suddenly, I heard you
From deep within my soul
I knew what you were trying to say
“Mum – I am here.
Downs Syndrome, they say.
Dodgy heart, they say.
But Mum – I’ve got this.
I’m a fighter, Mum.
I can do this.
Let me have my chance.
I want to LIVE.”
Immediately my heart grew firm
And resolve grew, along with you
I would give you your chance
To fight for the life
They said you may not have
To overcome the obstacles that would be in your way
If this is what you want
Then I will fight alongside you
I will do all I can
To look after you and protect you
I will stand against those who think I should abort you
Because child,
This is YOUR life
And your heart is already beating
And so I will journey with you
No matter what lies ahead
Though I pray you are miraculously healed
Of your Downs Syndrome and “dodgy heart”
I will walk the path with you
One day at a time
For your heart
Beats with mine
This poem speaks to our pre-natal NIPT DNA diagnosis of Downs Syndrome at 14 weeks. I sat on our swing chair and just internally froze, wondering how to accept, brace and recalibrate to this curveball that paired with a totally different life than I expected. The photo was taken of Cayden (which means fighter) later in the pregnancy. We named him fighter partly because of this moment – feeling him move and knowing he wanted to fight and beat the odds against him.
Navigating Life's Curveballs 